Monday, April 13, 2009


My name is Kathryn.  I am an Anti-Bride.

It's very likely that my strong anti-wedding feelings stemmed from a college internship with a national bridal magazine.  

I spent many hours stuffing lace-covered, bead-smattered, tulle-filled monstrosities into too-small boxes and shipping them back and forth to bridal salons and designers around the country.  I played in the beauty closet and took home many a high-end lipstick that have never been worn.  I attended photo shoots where 8 hours were spent fluffing the same five gowns over and over again.  I saw too many bare breasts on too many underfed models.  I fondled 3 karat mammoth diamond engagement rings and imported lace cathedral veils.  

Disgust brewed.

I got engaged on February 27th, to a very good man indeed.  Our wedding is in 18 months.  Not because I need that much time to plan.  Heavens no.  Because he has to finish studying The Law and taking The Bar and all sorts of other practical and rational reasons that I wish could be ignored.

As a blog addict, I've started spending a good deal of time on wedding blogs.  For kicks.  Because I have an obsessive personality.  Because I always need to focus on one thing or another, and weddings seems the most apropos at this stage of life.  Because it's fascinating to peek into other people's lives and see how they live them.

I continue to be shocked by the excess.  
By the ridiculousness.  
By the show-off-ness.  
By the look-at-me-ness.  
By the unnecessary-ness.  

For whatever reason - because we are always such fans of bigger and better and more more more - the American wedding has exploded.  The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is between $21 - 24k.  Average.  Often much higher.  

In my opinion, there are many things wrong here.

There are big honking diamond engagement rings.

There are pricey letterpressed save the dates.

There are ten thousand dollar couture gowns.

There are personalized monogrammed waterfall displays. 

There are performances and choreographed first dances.

There are extravagant welcomes packages for out of town guests.

There are 3-day weekend extravaganzas with picnics and brunches and games and dances and events and activities.

There are 500 person guest lists.

There are Swarovski crystal chandeliers and custom made tiaras.

And somewhere, buried deep down beneath the fluff and fuss, curled forgotten and alone, is a Marriage.

1 comment:

Fran said...