The Unwedding

I Don't...

2010-02-03T11:38:00.001-08:00

...think that "underwater engagement photos" are anything other than

a giant waste of money

a cry for attention

an attempt to be featured on a wedding blog

and attempt at competing in the perpetual battle of

"my wedding is more original than your wedding."

Wisdom

2010-02-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

"I have been struck by how many weddings are very showy. Maybe the nature of a wedding lends itself to that tendency: the guests arrive, take a seat, and the carefully scripted “entertainment” unfolds before them – complete with costume, hair, make-up, a pretty chorus line, romance (maybe a tear or two), scene changes and (hopefully) some pretty hilarious one-liners. AND, usually, the bridengroom throw in food drinks and some dancing: all for the cheap price of a (pre-selected) gift off the registry!"

- a wise realization on A Practical Wedding, where else?

I Don't...

2010-02-03T06:12:00.000-08:00

...get it.

The balloons.

It's a sweet picture. It is.

Artistically lovely.

But in my opinion, the only thing you should be holding in your wedding photos* is each other.
Or a small pudgy-cheeked child.

Or a fork.

Filled with wedding cake.

Basically, when you start bringing in the balloons and the mustaches you're trying to make yourself more interesting by using props.

And hopefully you won't need that.

As a wise woman once said - "your wedding is not a photoshoot."

*note I do not mention engagement photos - b/c I fail to see the purpose of spending a few extra hundred dollars to prance in a field.

{photo via here}

Who ever dreamed up....

2010-02-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

...the whole bridesmaid tradition?

Having some of your best buddies stand by your side to witness your vows? Great. All about it.

(Not TWENTY OF THEM. Mind you. Not a freaking estrogen army. No need to prove how many friends you have. No need to dig your kindergarten playground pal up out of the ether and plant her next to you in a token of forgetten friendship.)

But. Selecting a color palette? And picking their dresses? And their shoes? Their freaking jewelry?

It's super fun to play dress up when you're USING BARBIES.

Not so much fun for grown women who are shelling out hard-earned dollars for dresses that - let me just venture a generalization here - they will never ever in life wear again.

I can't even fathom it.

Ruffled

2009-06-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

You know how I feel about the dress shots.
But anyway....

The minute I came across this ruffly collar by golly I knew it was BCBG. Indeed, I had just fondled such a collar in my BCBG shopping exploits the other day!

A BCBG bride is a wise bride, if I do say so myself.

{via Brooklyn Bride}

I do...

2009-06-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

...find myself quite enamored with these centerpieces.

Oh yes. I quite like them indeed.

{via Style Me Pretty}

The Return of the Backyard Bash

2009-06-17T09:38:00.001-07:00

The New York Times just published a very interesting article about the current trend of brides serving up down-home culinary favorites (burgers, fries, grilled cheese) right in their own backyards, rather than offering standard lobster tail extravagance under crystal-studded chandeliers.

The irony?

These more casual backyard celebrations actually end up costing WAY more than a standard hotel reception. It's simply a matter of keeping up appearances as couples try to avoid the social faux pas of flaunting their wealth during a recession.

Tsk tsk.

I'm sorry, but in my opinion, a carefully contrived "budget casual" wedding that costs an arm and a leg is even tackier than owning up to your caviar and Dom Perignon.

{Photo of one of my very favorite low-key weddings ever via Once Wed}

I don't...

2009-06-12T11:34:00.001-07:00

...exactly understand the point of engagement photos.

You're getting married.

It's an awesome and incredibly big step.

Most likely, you'll have a (super pricey) professional photographer AT your wedding.

So, why are all of the brides-to-be so inclined to capture memories of themselves scampering through fields and lounging in kiddie pools?

no comprendo

I do...

2009-06-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

...dig an all smiles ceremony.

...a bride with beer.

...and a first dance in Keds.

{Photos by Josh Goleman}

A Sweet Story

2009-06-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not much for fancy schmancy invites - why waste your money on something people will promptly throw in the garbage? -and this sweet story, in a simple font, completely made my day.

(sorry, can't figure out how to resize so it's visible...click to read, or visit one of the links below)

{via oh so beautiful paper via snippet & ink}

Name of the Game: FUN

2009-06-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

Rock some shades.

Drink it in.

Float on home.

Everything a wedding should be.

Less focus on "the Plan."

More focus on fun.

{Photos by Cory Kennedy via east side bride}

Methinks

2009-06-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

I found my dress.

teehee!

You know what else I'm sick of?

2009-06-05T08:44:00.001-07:00

Balloons.

We get it.
You're engaged.

That's why you have a ring.
No need to prance around with a giant helium reminder.

If I see...

2009-06-04T09:03:00.001-07:00

...one more pro wedding photo of a dress

hanging solo

illuminated in front of a window

i might just scream...

!!!

2009-06-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.

I was just about to delete this silly billy blog... or merge it back into SK because I'm feeling so uninspired that I can barely handle posting at ONE blog, let alone two... when I realized that people have commented!

I never even saw them!

I feel so terrible... I could have SWORN I had the comments set to forward to my email.

Oops.

Hello my few sweet readers. Your comments made me smile today! :)

IN LOVE

2009-05-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

I am madly deeply severely in love with this 1960's vintage wedding gown, which this adorable bride found in a vintage shop. I'm swooning.

{Photo via Jen Elisebeth; more lovely photos here}

Dreamy

2009-05-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am super duper in love with this gorgeous vintage dress and the dreamlike quality of the photos. Yum.

{Photos by Rachel Thurston via Oh Happy Day}

Elope

2009-05-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

I'm completely in love with this sweet and simple elopment photo.

Barefoot on a bench with your new husband - it can't get much better.

This couple clearly got the message regarding a marriage vs. a hullaballo of a wedding.

Gorgeous.

Jared. Pretty please?

{Photo by Honour Mann of HH Fine Arts via frolic!}

Short and Sweet

2009-05-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

This wedding has been swirling around blog land today, and for good reason. What an adorable couple. And a BEAUTIFUL short dress that was handmade by the GROOM! Love ittttt.

This confirmed, yet again, that I am always drawn to the candid non-pro photos.

And to short dresses!

{Photos on Hans Johnson's flickr via Style Me Pretty}

Off the Shoulder

2009-05-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

Love the short dress. Love the birdcage veil.

{Photos by Robert Sukrachand via Once Wed}

To Go Pro or No?

2009-05-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

As usual, A Practical Wedding is right on the money when it comes to asking the Big Questions... the ones that re-evaluate the standards of the Wedding Industry and wonder if the whole thing is a load of malarky.

Which, honestly, it usually is.

Her last post was on whether it's worth hiring a professional photographer.

Recently I think I've been swayed by the complete inundation of professional photo shoots blanketing the Internet. It's easy to look at artsy documentary photos and think - MY WEDDING WILL NOT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT IT!

Then you realize the LEAST expensive option is... $2500. Maybe. If you're real lucky.

And you think - how often am I really going to stare at the hundreds and hundreds of photos a pro snaps at my wedding? How often will I want to see the sunlight streaming through my dress? Or fondle a closeup of my heels?

Probably not often.

And another critical consideration - do you really want to be stalked by a stranger for an entire day?

I was rather disturbed at a recent wedding when the photographer slithered around the front of the altar and hovered over small children in an attempt to get the Best Shot.

I'd much rather be stalked by a friend or family member who truly cares about getting a Good Shot because they care about ME.

I think this is my very favorite comment from the recent discussion on A Practical Wedding - I hope Meg and Becca don't mind that I've reiterated the wisdom here...

Becca said...
Thanks for this. I love wedding photography... but I'm not sure I want it at my wedding. A lot of the blog photos we see are beautiful pieces of art, but I'm not sure I want my wedding to be art. I want my wedding to be joy, and I resent that there's now an expectation that weddings are now fashion-plate worth events (with price tags to boot).

Oh wait! More wisdom! Amen sistah.

Marina said...
I definitely angsted over this. To me, the key was seeing this phrase repeated over and over and over again: "After the wedding, all you'll have left are the photographs."In one sense, this is absolutely true. A wedding is a one-day event, or a one-week event at most, and after it's over and the food's all eaten and the decorations are put away, you've got your own faint memories and whatever memory aids you've got. Like pictures. But that's not what I want, personally, from my wedding. I want the One Thing I have at the end of the day to be the marriage. Even if I can't remember a thing from the wedding day, I'll have experienced a good party fully present, in the moment, and not worrying about what I'll have left afterwards, and I'll have what matters most to me.

{Photo by 2000 dollar wedding}

Dear Heidi Merrick,

2009-05-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

Please make these dresses long

and/or white

and I will love you forever.

{Dresses - Sydney Black, Jane, Isak - by Heidi Merrick}

I do

2009-05-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

..think that I am falling madly in love with the deluge of sweet and simple weddings popping up around the blogsphere lately...

Love the unique, swirly dress.

Love the messily chic strands of pearls (I wear pearls almost everyday - yum!)

Love the rose altar that doubles as gifts for the guests...

{Photos by Ashley Garmon Photographers via Once Wed}

2009-05-05T11:41:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I've been feeling somewhat uninspired, in terms of both weddings and otherwise. And then I have those moments where I look at this silly little blog and think you know, by having a wedding blog at all you are totally just feeding into the bridal mania, which is completely the opposite of what I want. But alas. I can't stay away.

And I'm glad I didn't, because I just fell in love with this absolutely gorgeous backyard wedding. The simple dress, the sweet flower headpiece, the bride's fantastic haircut, the all-around smiles, the white lanterns...

Absolute perfection.

{Photos by Josh McCullock via With This Ring}

I do

2009-04-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

...believe in a short short-sleeved dress, sky-high heels, and a diva hat.

{via A Mountain Bride via Once Wed}

Dress Envy

2009-04-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

I've already blogged about this stunningly perfect dress pre-engagement, but now that I'm actually in the market for a wedding gown, felt it was acceptable to restate my complete and utter lust.

I really wish I could go to Barcelona and have Cortana make me this masterpiece.

{Photos via Snippet & Ink}

Dresses with Sleeves

2009-04-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know why or when strapless wedding dresses became The Thing, but I don't really get the whole fetish. Personally, I find them rather unflattering. I'm partial to anything with sleeves. They always lend a sweet, vintage look.

Utah seems to be a hot spot for sleeved dresses. The place also breeds really great photographers.

I think perhaps these folks should pack up their cameras and some cap sleeve dresses and head out to the East Coast asap.

Any suggestions on where to get awesome non-strapless dresses?

{Photos by Allison Cox Photography - here here here via Oh Happy Day}

{Photos by Leo Patrone - here here here here here}

A Practical Wedding

2009-04-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

...is always right on the money, and Meg's post about the WIC - Wedding Industrial Complex- is no exception.

Veils off to you Meg!

Wedding Priorities

2009-04-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

A pretty damn good To Do list if I do say so myself.

{Photo via Rock n Roll Bride}

A Clarification

2009-04-17T08:17:00.001-07:00

I realize that, more likely than not, I've generally come across as a righteous, judgemental wedding-phobic wench.

The thing is, I think weddings can be a spectacular and wonderful event - heck, they SHOULD be an incredibly monumental day in your life.

I am not a wedding hater. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

I tear up with the best of them everytime I hear that bridal march. And I've discovered there really is something to be said for a long white dress swirling around your ankles.

My frusturation rests primarily with the wedding industry. And those brides who fall prey to the wedding industry's conniving ways.

My wedding freakiness stems from the fact that people tend to go along with what they think they should be doing, in an effort to keep up with the Jones', rather than creating a unique, memorable, and personal event that truly represents the couple's wishes.

So, my apologies for ever coming across as a high and mighty bride who looks down upon the foolish save-the-date-sending peasants.

More than anything it has to do with a mindset - one which recognizes the importance of the Marriage, puts the wedding itself in an appropriate context, and allows the bride and groom to enjoy their day (whatever that day may include), without stressful mayhem or billions of dollars.
So marry on, my friends. Just remember the point of it all. Remember it's all about the love.

{Photo via Rock 'n Roll Bride}

Dum dum dum dum

2009-04-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

This is a recycled post, which I posted on my other blog back at the beginning of March. But I felt it was a pretty good summary of my general wedding feelings, so thought I'd republish here. Please enjoy my extreme sarcasm and general distate of the wedding industry...

Some of you may have realized from previous posts that I am not the hugest fan of the whole wedding hoopla. OK, fine. "Not the hugest fan" is kind of a euphemism for "I think it is all the hugest load of materialistic crap."

There, I've said it.

I think the whole fancy schmancy Save the Dates, mile-high centerpieces, cake-crafted-in-the-shape-of-an-Orca-whale, $10k Vera Wang dress is a huge insult to the institution of marriage.

Basically, people want to have a huge blowout performance, flaunt their wealth, and try and upstage their friends.

I despise it

My wedding hatred has increased exponentially over the years, as I have more of a first hand look into the inanity involved with the whole process. Suffice it to say that I have vowed to myself to never, ever, be a Bridezilla. In fact, I consider myself the anti-Bridezilla.

But.

That was before I was cursed with The Power of The Ring, which, wouldn't you know, has Crazy-Making properties all it's own.

Within 24 hours of getting engaged, I had been bombarded with the question "So have you set the date? What are you thinking? Do you have a time frame yet?" approximately ten thousand times. Who knew some diamonds came along with so much pressure?

The low point was when Jared and I decided to create a preliminary guest list, just for kicks, just to see what we're looking at, and... wow. Mistake. Big mistake. HUGE. Let's just say, within minutes I was all Bridezillaed out and snarling evil ring-induced retorts about some of Jared's choices.

I've chosen to think of that Guest List Bridezilla Hour as my wake up call. In my desperate resolve to have a mellow, fun. and completely non-stressful wedding, I started stressing out pretty much immediately.

I will be trying my very very hardest not to fall prey to the Bridal Crazies again. And be warned that I will NOT be having Save the Dates, a poofy dress, floral centerpieces, favors, a wedding party, or any of that other malarkey.

My sister, on the other hand, may be well on her way to the land of the Maidzilla...

{Photo via lenacorwin - aka a perfectly lovely, mellow outdoor wedding}

A Helpful Motto

2009-04-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

...for brides round the world.

"Self, it is time to step back and chill the hell out."

Now, let's all repeat it over and over again, and perhaps weddings will deflate back to a managable size.

{via the wise (and always hilarious) Holly}

Do's

2009-04-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

Having your friends video your wedding with Super 8 cameras.

I don't consider myself much of a crier, but the minute the bride throws her arms around her father at the end of the aisle, I couldn't help myself.... Not a good sign.

{Video via A Cup of Jo}

Do's

2009-04-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

a sweet cocktail dress.

a stolen kiss.

a bicycle for two.

{Photo via Once Wed by Yves Samuel Photographe}

Do's

2009-04-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

Shiny cocktail wedding dress + fabulous streamers on sticks for the guests to wave (a perfect alternative for messy confetti!)

{Photos via Style Me Pretty}

Hello

2009-04-13T20:44:00.001-07:00

My name is Kathryn. I am an Anti-Bride.

It's very likely that my strong anti-wedding feelings stemmed from a college internship with a national bridal magazine.

I spent many hours stuffing lace-covered, bead-smattered, tulle-filled monstrosities into too-small boxes and shipping them back and forth to bridal salons and designers around the country. I played in the beauty closet and took home many a high-end lipstick that have never been worn. I attended photo shoots where 8 hours were spent fluffing the same five gowns over and over again. I saw too many bare breasts on too many underfed models. I fondled 3 karat mammoth diamond engagement rings and imported lace cathedral veils.

Disgust brewed.

I got engaged on February 27th, to a very good man indeed. Our wedding is in 18 months. Not because I need that much time to plan. Heavens no. Because he has to finish studying The Law and taking The Bar and all sorts of other practical and rational reasons that I wish could be ignored.

As a blog addict, I've started spending a good deal of time on wedding blogs. For kicks. Because I have an obsessive personality. Because I always need to focus on one thing or another, and weddings seems the most apropos at this stage of life. Because it's fascinating to peek into other people's lives and see how they live them.

I continue to be shocked by the excess.

By the ridiculousness.

By the show-off-ness.

By the look-at-me-ness.

By the unnecessary-ness.

For whatever reason - because we are always such fans of bigger and better and more more more - the American wedding has exploded. The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is between $21 - 24k. Average. Often much higher.

In my opinion, there are many things wrong here.

There are big honking diamond engagement rings.

There are pricey letterpressed save the dates.

There are ten thousand dollar couture gowns.

There are personalized monogrammed waterfall displays.

There are performances and choreographed first dances.

There are extravagant welcomes packages for out of town guests.

There are 3-day weekend extravaganzas with picnics and brunches and games and dances and events and activities.

There are 500 person guest lists.

There are Swarovski crystal chandeliers and custom made tiaras.

And somewhere, buried deep down beneath the fluff and fuss, curled forgotten and alone, is a Marriage.